Finding The One

I recently heard from an old friend who went through a terrible break-up. It was, in many ways, her first long-term relationship and real “love.” Whether you’re thirteen or thirty-five, getting dumped is never easy. But when you’re a bit older, the stakes seem higher because you think you know yourself better; you know what you’re looking for in a mate; what you will and will not tolerate; what values and interests will make a compatible match.


Trying to offer words of comfort, I recalled a Marie Claire article that a friend gave to me many moons ago. I saved it for a long, long time, even pasted it on the fridge (which, come to think about it, probably warded off any unsuitable “suitors” that visited my apartment). I searched high and low for the article to no avail, but the story went something like this…The author offered vignettes about several ex-boyfriends, who ended their relationship, how she would run into them many years later at the grocery store, baseball games, wherever, and all of the hurt and misery would again bubble up. The last paragraph of the article concluded with a sentence to the effect of, “Now, when I am laying in bed, next to the one who means the world to me, I thank God for getting dumped by all of the ones who didn’t work out.” (UPDATE: Suze Yalof, author of this article, released a book in April 2010 entitled, Getting Over John Doe”)

As I today celebrate the first 100 days of being married to The One, who means the world to me, I know for a fact that this is true. With every lousy break-up, you are one step closer to finding the perfect person for you, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I’ve met mine!